10 Things I Hate About This Place And 10 Objections

1. I have no time to do anything fun, anything only for/with myself.
(1. If I wouldn't work, I wouldn't do anything useful at all.)
2. If I do have free time, I'm too tired and lazy to do anything because the working (that means doing nothing all day) really wares me off.
(2. Look at me wine! I could take myself together!)
3. If I have a good plan for my free time, it will probably fail because the weather is horrible: gray and rainy all the time, which kills all my motivation to go out and do something.
(3. I could get an umbrella or go to the movies or shopping, but I'm too lazy to get out of the school.)
4. If I manage to ignore the previous obstacles and do go out with the intention to see/meet someone cool or add some color to my life, I still fail. I do see the cool people time after time, but they all have friends and don't care about lonely little me at all. Walking around on the streets alone is not what you could call entertaining...
(4. I've heard that it is possible to become friends with complete strangers from the street. I should try harder! And it is a proved fact that going windowshopping and planning what I can buy if I save enough money DOES make me feel a bit better.)
5. The people here are starting to become very boring and unattractive to me. It's all the same every day: Marvin and his crewel/stupid taunting; Roland talks too much and takes his job too seriously; the Asian girls take too much time to understand things; Steffi is way in another world; Anna is such a perfect girl, also perfectly boring (seriously - even a cactus can be more interesting!), her head in the clouds all the time... There are only two students here that you might even say are cool (at least by the way they look)...
(5. Well, two is a start! Maybe they have cool friends, who knows! I could find out by asking them, but I'm too damn shy! I should get over my fears and complexes. And at least these people communicate to me even though I think mean things about them.)
6. It takes forever to take care of any paperwork here. I will be 65 before I will get my bank account with my pocketmoney for the first month here.
(6. Not that I am doing anything to make things move. I just blame everyone else! Very smart.)
7. The technique: editing program sucks beyond imaginable, but they won't buy a better one (Adobe, my lost love!!!); the computers are only good for writing French essays, the internet connection gives up on me every two minutes and there are some pages I can't even open!!!
(7. I should be thankful that there's anything at all, that I am able to check my email and at least I have the bad-old Trillian. Kuukulgur spoiled me and now I want the whole world to be as good.)
8. Noone sends me any letters. Steffi gets something almost every day. My inbox is getting emails from only one friend and although I'm online (as long as the server works) every damn evening, I've lately been chatting to one single person...
(8. At least there's something. And everyone's promising: sooon... Besides - the one single person is the coolest and most adorable person imaginable, never mind the fact that he's only 5 years old. It's been great "talking" to him!!!)
9. Because I'm always busy doing nothing, I'm also always tired and stressed, which means I eat much more, especially chocolate. If you'd see me right now, you wouldn't recognize me - I'm so fat!
(9. Well then DON'T EAT!!!! It's as simple as that! Geez! Or get on that great wine-diet of mine, that should lift my spirits...)
10. There's nothing I can do about it: I don't know how to make new friends (I want my old ones!); I can't make any good films with that equipment; I can't get away from the people around me; I can't download MSN (it would make me feel better); I can't not eat...
I can't leave and go back home because everyone would hate me for quitting (including me)...
(10. I should not say "I can't" before I haven't tried; if I have and it didn't work then maybe I should try and find another way. I can leave, but I won't. After all - there's nothing better back home, is there...)

-> my inner controversy of pessimism and sadism... I feel so useless and helpless... Where has my positive thinking gone? Offline.

Genialistid "Ma kolin ära koju"