Berlin & Köpi

K�pi
Here we are in Berlin. We are staying in a squat called Köpi which is quite a dump, but we love it :)
There's not much to do after we've done all the sightseeing and have no money to go shopping... so that's why we drink lots of cheep beer called Sternburg (not paying for it mostly, of course, cause we found some good friends here). Sleeping till noon, eating a lot of pasta & potatoes and hanging out in punk bars until the early dawn... That's life!!!
On Thursday morning we are leaving the great (and sometimes kind of boring) Berlin to see if we can manage to have more fun in Paris.
Greetings to all friends in Estonia, Germany, France, Belgium, Denmark and of course Spain!!!

Until the next post!

Good-bye Mom!

Today is the day! The boat that will take me and Maiu to Rostock in only 25 hours is probably already leaving the port of Tallinn. We will have a personal cabin and lots of party :) Gee, I hope we won't drown... Well, wish us luck.
I guess this is my last message from Estonia...for now. Huge hugs and kisses to all that I'm leaving behind!!! Don't forget to send me messages and definitely watch us as we send our regards from Paris (3rd of July at 14:15 CET, http://www.abcparislive.com/eiffel_tower_webcams.htm).
But now my parting-song that I wrote last year before going to Berlin, to all dear people (just replace "mom" with your name):

Good-bye mom
I'm leaving today
I'm going away
To find better days

Good-bye mom
Don't worry 'bout me
I don't know if I'll come back
Though you'll wait for me

Good-bye mom
I love you
never really said it
but you know I do

Graduation party

I finally graduated from high school on Sunday and we had a huge party with lots of drinks and fun. In the early morning, at about 3AM all the ones that still managed to use their feet went up on the roof of City Hall where we watched the sunrise. At the same time we celebrated the beginning of summer. And standing up there I finally realized that I am now free from the horrible school system, that my great wish to get out has finally come true... After long depressing years of waiting!!! That felt really great :)) And even a little sad for a moment, because I realized that I will probably never see most of the people again. And that my whole future is uncertain, everything is up to me now.. But to go back to school? Never!! No thank you! I'm glad that I'm free, at least for now. Who knows what will the future bring...

The Smilers

Smilers Family
Smilers is the best Estonian band in the whole world!!
I fell in love with the music from the first time I saw them live and that was already five years ago. But it's not just the music that I love so much, it's the gigs and the people and the whole concept of feeling good, letting the music take hold of you... The Smilers is far more than just a band, they are all individuals, very talented and fun to be with, but also (depending on the circumstances of course) my friends.
Two days ago was my so-called goodbye-concert because I'm leaving Estonia.. who knows when will be the next time I'll be able to see them perform again. And although I've seen them live 101 times (seriously, no exaggerations!) I still feel sad. Every concert is always unique, I'll miss seeing them for sure. To be honest - I fear for my sanity because 2-3 months has been the longest time ever of not seeing them and by the end of that my hands used to start shaking, so...
I'm addicted, what can I do. I believe "smileholic" is the right word to call myself :) But don't judge me before you haven't seen them perform live!!
I don't mind that during all the years their music has transformed into more popish version of rock, that many great (best?) musicians have come and gone and that the leader of the band is sometimes a bit more presuming than necessary, I just love The Smilers too much to mind.

mida ma igatsema hakkan

Ma lahkun Eestist juba nädala pärast, et minna kaheks kuuks Prantsusmaale. Ja ärasõidu lähenedes kasvab hinges üha enam salajane kurbus, sest maha jääb palju, mida igatsema hakkan. Ja mina veel arvasin, et äraminek on ainus võimalik alternatiiv elu jätkamiseks... Aga tuleb välja, et vahepealsed sündmused on muutnud mu mõtlemist päris põhjalikult.
Kuna tegemist on järjekordse spontaanse hääletamis-tripiga, siis tõenäoliselt tekib reisi jooksul nii mõnigi moment, mil unistan oma dušist, mõnusast voodist ja kallist kaisu-põdrast, kelleta on pea võimatu magama jääda. Hoolimata sellest, et sihtpunktiks on Pariis, on võimalik, et vahetevahel tahan võõrast suurlinnast tagasi armsasse kalurikülla Tallinnasse, kus nii tore jalutada vanalinnas või juua odavat õlut koos kamba punkaritega Lollide mäel vedeledes. Ohh.
Vaevalt, et hakkan sügavat igatsust tundm VHK järgi, kuigi see jääb mind kahtlemata igal sammul saatma mu "õigel teel". Ma ei karda tunda puudust oma väikesest perekonnast, sõpradest, eesti kommidest või kasvõi televisioonist. See kõik on üleelatav. Aga tean kindlalt, et hakkan vägagi igatsema lühikese ajaga väga armsaks saanud stuudiot, kus nüüdseks veedetud nii mõnigi magamata öö ja ka toredat Kuukulguri kampa, sest see rahvas süstib alati tohutult optimismi...:)
Ja siin ma nüüd siis olen ja tunnen vaikselt muret. Ja ärasõit on juba nädala pärast...

Andres Maimik

Ohh. Ohkan rõõmsalt. Andres on minu suur eeskuju ja iidol. Suurepärane inimene kogu oma geniaalsuses, triviaalsuses(:)), armsuses ja headuses. Sellest ajast, kui temast sai - minu jaoks siiani uskumatu, meeletu õnne läbi - mu filmi juhendaja, olen ma muutunud üha suuremaks Maimiku- ja kõigi tema tööde fänniks. Ja lisaks tema suurepärastele filmidele on ta ise ka lihtsalt kirjeldamatult tore, lahke, naljakas, sõbralik ja ületamatult tark inimene. Ei ole teist sellist inimest kui Andres. Isegi ülivõrretest jääb väheks, andmaks edasi tema olemust, tema kordumatut isiksust. Aamen ja kümme allahit Andrese auks... Ja üks suur-suur-suuur kalli ka (oh kuidas ma tahaks teda vahest kallistada :$). Sest tema on meie - depressionistide - päike, kes muudab päeva rõõmsamaks iga kord kui temaga kohtume. Mis me küll Andreseta peale hakkaks? :) Mul ei olegi sõnu, et öelda välja kõik, mis temast arvan, et kirjeldada tema olemust, seda kondoomipuhujatele hirmu nahka toovat suurt aurat... Mis muud ma saakski öelda. Ta on Andres Maimik, tark juht ja õpetaja, depressionistide eelkäija, muhe ja naljakas tüüp, kes tunneb ennast vahest põhjendamatult vanana ja on enamuse ajast väga lahe ja lihtne inimene... Liiga hea et olla tõsi? Vaevalt küll!!! Pigem... Andres oma lihvimata täiuses, armas-armas inimene, sümpaatselt tagasihoidliku naeratusega :) See on muidugi mu isiklik arvamus...

The Black Cat...

...That can be noticed on the logo as well... It is a very symbolic creature, black cats are always doing things their own way and on their own terms. The specific Morbid-Cat has two barely noticable details which give it a bit of a personal touch: an anarchy sign glimmering in the right eye and a Taizé cross on the neck.
I guess the cat represents me and my inner self. It is up to you to decide what does it all say about my personality and beliefs... [mysterious pause]
To be completely honest - I don't really like cats :)

Morbid Café

Morbid Caf� logo

I thought I should explain what the hell is Morbid Café to the ones that don't know (that is almost everyone)... It is a project that was created who-knows-when, at firs meant to be a film company, but has now expanded into a notional ideological project of the world's first Depressionists (-> me and my friend Maiu). The first movie by Morbid Café was premiered yesterday (10th June) in my school. It is called "Ich bin eine berliner" and it is about my trip to berlin in summer 2003...

first tryout

i've decided to step into the great community of blog-keepers and see what comes out of it. i hope i will be able to make it interesting to read to all my friends :)