Mme Perrin

Our dear Chuppa-Chups, what would we do without her? Probably party all day and night, practically never clean the salon nor wash the dishes, invite anyone we want whenever we want, never worry about anything… Yeah, that would be the luxurious life in Lucie Berger. But no, we’re stuck here with the board school supervisor, as she sees herself (let us not mind the fact that LB is not a board school for years now)… She lives in the school with her husband (who is the school director and a really nice person), in a huge apartment one floor downstairs from us. She is the one that is in charge of our accommodation and week-end/vacation nourishment. And she is the one that doesn’t want us to have any visitors ever (oops, I guess we kind of missed that rule).

There are a lot of stories about her, for example, why do we call her the fridge-bitch: Keiko had some mushrooms and salad that disappeared from her fridge, so she went and asked (frank as she is) the f-b if she had taken her mushrooms. Mme Perrin answered “No, but maybe it was the cleaning woman”…

One late Friday evening we were making cookies in our salon, it took quite a long while so we left the cleaning-up for the morning. But the next day when I wanted to get our key to the diner I found the salon locked. There was also a letter on our message board: “if you want to use the salon, make sure it is well cleaned”. So we weren’t able to have our breakfast and I still don’t know how she had imagined us cleaning up a room with the door closed. By the way, she did it once more some months later just because of three unclean plates.

It was already a long time ago when Marvin and I started collecting all of our empty alcohol bottles into a small cupboard. When Mme Perrin discovered it she immediately assumed that it was all drunk by Marvin. She insisted on cleaning the cupboard and insulted him by telling into his face that she thinks he has a drinking problem. Of course we didn’t clean anything – how could we possibly throw away our precious collection?! After the Christmas vacation, when Marvin came back to LB he found his room full of empty bottles. Yes, she often uses her double key to enter our rooms. I don’t know what she’s doing there but it annoys me as hell! Anyway, don’t think that we’re just a bunch of wussys here or that I’m not doing any small and quietly undermining revolutions. Of course we started our collection again, but this time we hid the key of the cupboard so that she can’t look inside and therefore have any problems about what’s there. If she should ever ask where the key is we’ll just tell that maybe it was the cleaning woman who took it ;)

Before Christmas vacation she gave me money (not a small sum) for food as I wasn’t going home like most of the others. Keiko was the second one staying here. She didn’t get anything, we discussed it and good-old Keiko went demanding right away. Mme Perrin had her money all ready in an envelope, but she wouldn’t have given it if Keiko would not have asked. Plus – she got less than I did just for no reason. There are plenty of other money-stories with her, actually – we’re having problems with that all the time.

But the most irritating about her is the nasty hypocritical nosiness: she always has to know when we are here; when are we leaving, where, with whom and to do what. She always has that disgusting smile on her face that’s so false, you could tell that she loves you as much as the dirt under her shoe. We just really love her, that sneaky, stealing, room-entering, party-ruining, double-faced bitch!!!